Trusting God’s Will Instead of your Own
Every Sunday, after communion, I look forward to saying The Lord’s Prayer. When I pray this, I have always found myself enunciating the part that says, “Thy will be done.”
I was driving to my office one morning when the song “Thy Will Be Done” by Hillary Scott and Family came on the radio. I had not heard this song before but I became captivated by the rich piano. Then my ears tuned in to the words. I found myself humming the chorus all morning long.
Little did I know that the next morning I would be weaving in and out of traffic at full speed to get my husband to the hospital. The doctor had just called to say he had a blood test that revealed blood clots and he was to head immediately to the ER. I wanted my will to be done to remove every car off the road and give us safe and speedy travel.
There ensued a 45-minute wait in the ER even after we were told this was an emergency. I wanted my will to be done as I prodded and poked the receptionist and a nurse to see us. But we just watched people, who were not in danger, be taken back to be treated. I wanted my will to be done.
After a day of camping out in the ER, we were told that my husband had a blood clot in his leg and in every lobe of his lungs. During this camp out, I did what most anxiety-filled wives might do. I Googled. I learned that many people don’t live long after serious blood clot issues. I learned that blood clots could be an early indicator of cancer. I read every frightening thing that the internet could dish up.
My husband was admitted to the hospital and I drove back home alone. I settled my exhausted self into my chair and gave myself permission to have a good cry. God reminded me of “thy will be done.”
I’m not going to say that I was anxiety free. I’m human. But, my brain stopped imagining life without him, and suddenly I had the ability to tell God I accepted what the future was to bring. I trusted God.
After three days in the hospital my husband came home on blood thinners for life. We still don’t know what caused these clots and are awaiting more medical tests. But, I am thanking God for my husband being alive.
I’m an older woman and I do believe that age brings wisdom. I recall that as a new Christian I struggled with “thy will be done.” Wasn’t I supposed to come to God with pleas and requests?
Well, I did that for 17 years and it didn’t always work out the way I wanted. I asked God to heal a previous marriage and He didn’t. As a child, I prayed for abuse to stop and it didn’t. Now on the other side of these events, I do not believe that God caused these situations to happen. I think they are part of our fallen world. But, looking back, I can see that God was there with me. He comforted me. He cried with me. He has redeemed all of the pain and I can now use it for His glory.
While I was studying at Asbury Seminary, I had a class with professor Steve Seamands. We were talking about unanswered prayer, especially in situations where a person was dying. Of course, we want to ask God for a miracle, and we often do. But I recall Dr. Seamands saying something along this line: “Pray God’s will be done.”
At first this sounded like giving up. But then I started thinking. Doesn’t God love that person even more than I do? Doesn’t He want what is best? Maybe in certain situations death is better than suffering and/or more invasive or torturous treatment?
So after that, I stopped telling God what to do as often as I had before. (Remember, I’m still a work in progress. I admit recently praying for the motor on my husband’s boat to start when he was stuck on the river on a cold day. Yes, the motor started.)
My growing edge is to let go and let God do His thing, not mine. Notice the common theme of the following verses. Why would the Lord repeat Himself so frequently in scripture if He didn’t want us to grasp this important idea?
And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.”
And He was saying, “Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.”
“For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.”
Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work.”
Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
“…who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
Here is the link to the song that carried me through some difficult days. I am praying that God will speak to you as you listen.